Let me preface this blog with a couple of things. First, this was my husband's idea (he has more faith in me than I do sometimes) and second, we're dipping our toes in the "personal" side of our lives a little again. I really do try and keep that separate from the business side of operations for a lot of reasons but this is one of those things where to truly express this sentiment, I need to bring a little of our real lives in.
I'm not going to lie or sugar coat how this year has been. It's been one heck of a ride. We've dealt with isolation. Our family was horribly sick for over 2 months this spring. Covid antibody test was negative (they weren't doing widespread testing for it yet), but I still think it might have been that - I've fought some nasty illnesses in my life (bronchitis, pneumonia, bronchial pneumonia, mono, etc., etc) but NOTHING like that. We've seen the really ugly side of people come out fighting over everything (masks, toilet paper, politics, distancing...everything they could fight about, they have). Vacations, holidays, birthdays were all canceled or drastically changed. As the sole financial support of our family, I lost my job of nearly 7 years this summer (that's a whole other post unto itself) and being high risk, my options for employment in a pandemic are extremely limited. My husband was diagnosed with cancer and underwent surgery 6 weeks ago to remove a 5"x4" tumor, leaving a huge hole in his back that will have to be fixed with a skin graft once it heals a little more. Because of the cancer and the obvious elevated risk to him, we've had to completely redo everything in our lives even more. Our kids are doing school from home (their school planned for the entire first semester at home from the beginning of the school year and has approved them to do it the entire school year if need be).
(I told you I was going to cross the line into personal) It's not been easy. Not even close.
Starting a business from home, in the best of circumstances, is hard. Starting one during this madness, is harder than I can even express. Re-inventing myself when I'm a lot closer to 50 than 40 is a terrifying thing to be doing. There are days I want to just give up, but I can't. I have to keep going, I have to keep working, I have to push myself as hard as I can for as long as I can (24/7 isn't as much of a stretch of the imagination as you think at this point). Here's the thing...I know the instant I give in to the doubt, the fear, the fatigue, the uncertainty...I'm defeated.
What pushes me in those moments (other than knowing I have two kids watching me)? Determination, sure. More than that? Hope. I have to believe that there is value in what I'm doing and I have to have faith that I'm on the right path and I have to hope that it all comes together. Will everything that's happened and continue to happen in our lives ever make sense? I don't know, but I hope it will. Without that hope, everything else falls apart.
Here's the kicker though...how do you find and hold onto hope when it seems like you're at the end of that proverbial rope? Sheer determination can do a lot, but it's not enough. Our family and support system help, but that isn't necessarily enough. Our faith in a Higher Being? Some people can hold onto their belief system to carry them through, but not everyone can. (Remember the second line of this blog? Yeah...one of us in this house is struggling a little more than the other, but that's another story)
Regardless of how much internal fortitude or support you have, sometimes having something extra helps. Sometimes we need to CHOOSE to fill our hearts, our homes, our lives with things that strengthen us and carry us through. We need to be active participants in CHOOSING HOPE.
I started playing Christmas music about a month ago and our tree went up 2 weeks ago. Prior to that, you'd find me constantly listening to the music they pipe into the Disney Parks because it makes me happy. I discovered Disney Ambience music on youtube and it has been a constant source of calm and peace when I've struggled. And I have struggled. A lot. Honestly though, who hasn't this year?
So to help you find ways to strengthen your hope and your heart through this weird, weird time I've put together some suggestions. These aren't your typical "Chocolate can fix anything" solutions (although I've heard it keeps the Dementors away), but things that have more of a lasting impact. I hope you find something that helps. And I hope, if nothing else, we can all come through the remainder of this year full of hope for what comes next, grateful for the time we've had with our families and at peace with whatever is going on around us.
Make a memory with your family. Live-Stream the Moscow Ballet's Nutcracker and create a memory that they'll always remember. I started looking for "experiences" to do as a family a few years ago at Christmas when they started getting older and the thrill of toys was wearing off. I absolutely wish I'd started when they were much littler. To this day, when they talk about Christmases past, it's seldom the gifts or the toys, it's the experiences. (Use Promo Code CHRISTMAS for an extra 10% off - again really reasonable cost.)
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